Mind has been traditionally identified as a key element that has a disproportionate influence on the quality of life one experiences! It is a “bad master” and a “good servant” kind of descriptions are attributed to it in our literature and religious books. Mind is often characterized as restless “nat-khat”, with free-will and a tendency to wander around.
What if you were to treat Mind as a Coacheee, who you have to work with?
While going beyond the master-servant choices, treating Mind as coachee to work along to uplift it to the next stage of evolution could be an interesting alternative. If in the process Mind gets aware of its playful nature and becomes mindful of its habit of creating confusion and distractions, many new possibilities may emerge as well.
Like any coaching process, let us cover three crucial WHATS with the Mind ie What is, So What and What next!
Let us start with asking the Mind to share: WHAT IS going on these days.? Depending upon the mood and tendency, Mind may start with counting the deficits upfront, or may come to them respecting the standard formats of “and-but” or “if only”. Here comes the chance to push MInd to consider all spheres of life, including health, wealth, family, etc, (using the Wheel of life kinds of tool) to force Mind to take a holistic view of life, than being deficit-focused only.
Next comes the turn to examine So-What? This exercise needs conscious effort on the part of the Coach ie You, to separate the impact assessment of the gaps and goodies with emotional attachment to them. Some real work may be required to separate the real and the imagined impact, the latter coming out of assumptions, historical experiences, and willful selective comparisons. More clinical and factual the impact assessment more is the balanced outcome and realistic sizing of the issue leading to disabuse of disproportionate feelings associated with the situation. Mind may have to acknowledge that situation is not that challenging or constraining and that some of the helplessness is rather an imagined one.
Finally, Mind needs to decide What Next? This is where Mind needs most coaching, given its nature. With patience, it needs to realize the inherent trade-offs that are hidden behind the choices it makes. Mind cannot ask for a lazy lifestyle and fit body, for example. There is a need to engage mindfully in imagining the possible outcomes in the future, explaining each scenario by involving visual, auditory and kinetics.
For each alternative, Mind may also need to focus on things which may not change or may go missing, as part of the trade-off. It may be worthwhile to give Mind some time to make up its Mind. Let it gather additional information, seek validation from those it values, and play with risk assessments tools as a run-up to its decision. As coach, while you allow time for Mind-making, it has to be a time-bound indulgence. The coach may do well for MInd to be mindful of the hurdles and derailment factors that may come in the chosen path.
Once the decision is made, it is important to wear a typical project manager hat and ask Mind to define milestones and check-points. Review schedules need to be agreed to and complied with. Only during reviews, there is scope to fine-tune or revise the choices made and always in light of some assumptions going wrong. Else, Mind would not walk the path, but would seek exceptions at the very first hurdle on the chosen path. Only when the Mind tastes success, its faith in the process would grow - as it learns to move on a goal-directed disciplined path, which is not its inherent nature.
A bigger pay-off will indeed come to you, for having first-hand managed a tough client in the form of your Mind. All Minds are the same, and some are more same than others.
Having managed your Mind as a Coachee, you would be better equipped and confident in handling others’ (Minds) as Coachees.
Do share your experience if you have tried coaching your mind!
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